Musings of an Amateur Diva

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Location: Kennedale, Texas, United States

Single mother of two trying to find my way in the world. Feminist, Socialist and Atheist living in Jesusville, USA.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I've been feeling very creative, lately, which is a good sign, I think. I've thought about trying to do some writing that isn't roleplay related, just writing a story. It's something I didn't really have the patience for in the past, but I'm considering trying. Also, I should get some paint and get started on some of the furniture around here that I keep meaning to beautify.

Mostly, it just feels like something is inside of me and wants out. It's a craving for something I don't have words for, and I'm going to have to find a way to get it out, to fill it up, whatever metaphor you choose to go with.

I've finished the books I was reading. I was a little dissapointed with the last in the series, but I loved the way the author ended the series. One of the things that he would do that was both interesting and occasionally annoying, was to resolve things "off camera"... events would transpire where the current narrator was aware only of the outcome, or the effects of the action, so that you got what had happened, because you, as the reader, had been privvy to more information than the current narrator had. This was mostly an interesting way of moving the action along without getting bogged down with minute detail too often, and giving the reader different perspectives on different parts of the story, but once or twice I felt that Kim Stanley Robinson took it too far and would have too much happening away from the reader's ability to witness it. It was, occasionally, too pat. A character came back and had resolved some issue he or she had had, and one was given no insight as to how that had happened, or why or what might be going on with that character. As if the author was stumped as to how to fix something, and so says it was fixed and leaves it a mystery as to how.

But mostly he used this style to great effect, and it helped to keep the story from dragging, over all, and allowed it to be a tale with a wide range of characters, and go into some detail in each of their lives without getting too, too long. Sort of the anti-Robert Jordan, come to that.

So, I think that I'm going to start outlining a story, and see where it takes me. Listen to lots of inspiring music, read some books... really explore the depths of my creative process. I hope to have some really great updates here in the near future. I feel so much more stable in different areas now that hopefully it can express itself in the ability to express myself creatively again. I feel like it's been a long time. I feel... on the verge of something, somehow.

Oh my gosh!! The bug lady called me again! Just now! Those who read my blog when it was a livejournal might remember the post about the bug lady. She calls and thinks I'm "bug" and creeps me out with her sing-song voice. Last time it was "Where are you, bug?" And "Nancy, I swam through the water", and this time, she just opened with "Hi, bug!"... so, less like CIA code, but still kinda unnerving.

After I'd told her it was the wrong number, I sort of regretted it. I didn't even ask her what the hell she meant by the water thing, or who was bug... or even pretended to be bug to try to crawl into her psyche at all!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Life moving on.

Well, I started my new job this week. Michael has had some problems with a bully in school recently and is in a new class. My car is acting up, smells funny and getting warmer than usual. I got some extra money, recently. Things are going pretty well, in other words. I worry about Michael still, but am not sure what to do about it other than to support him and wait it out. I prefer when I can do something, of course, but I can't be there all the time, I'm not even usually there when things happen that set him off.

My job is going well. Today was my first day off. The girl training me wasn't going to be there, so there wasn't much for me to do, so the boss said to go ahead and stay home, which was nice. It's really great there, not a lot of heirarchy.. pretty much everyone does his or her own job, and Mark, the lab manager does a few extra organizational tasks, but leaves everyone to take care of their own stuff. It keeps the environment relaxed and easy going.

The car is going to wait until I get my first paycheck, but I'm not too worried about it. Soon, I will be looking to get a new car. If I can pull it off, a hybrid.

All in all, I'm happy and doing well. Really happy.

I miss Chris though! (Who is my online friend who hasn't been around to talk to lately.)

Oh, and take a look at this article. I was a part of that poll! They called me and asked me all those questions. I feel powerful.